The Fly

One of us has got to go. It’s him or me time. He’s been skating in my margarine, drinking my coffee, buzzing in my ear, and being a general nuisance. I’ve already tried all the laissez faire methods of fly abatement. He knows enough to avoid the fly strip, the spider web, the gecko’s, and he won’t just leave when I open the door for him. I’ve spent the last week stalking him with my trusty fly whacker hoping to catch him napping. No dice.
So today, I’m taking my spaghettios out of the microwave, and he flew right in the micro wave. I shut the door behind him.
Now I know what some of you are thinking right now. I’m about to be the Dr. Mengele of the 21st century. This is uncharted territory for me. How long do you cook a fly? Will it be like popping corn?
Screw it. A minute on high should to do.
The micro beeps and I throw the door open expecting to find dried fried fly gizzards on the turntable. Out he flies, and Bob’s your Uncle. Now he’s showing off. Barrel rolls, loop the loop, flying backwards.

Are any of you guys available to help me move?
You got a truck?

This entry was posted in humor, Post weakly. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The Fly

  1. judyt54 says:

    lol I sympathize. This is an old house, and they all move in for the winter–the houseflies, the ladybugs, the mice. I have one method that works, but you need patience, timing, and a housefly. keep a drinking glass handy, and a smallish stiff piece of cardboard, preferably the kind you get as politcal flyers. when he lands on a wall or window, as quckly as you can, clap the glass over him, and then slowly carefully slide the cardboard under the glass. tilt the whole thing upside down so the cardboard is on the bottom, and frog march the little guy to the door. Give him his freedom.

    Im faintly allergic to brown house wasps, and I have yet to be stung. It works for almost anything that flies. Ive done it for mice, chipmunks, meadow voles and whatever will fit under the glass. Im registered with the ‘catch vermin and release’ group…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Nan says:

    This post is hilarious! Probably because it hits so close to home. (Would have never thought a fly was microwave-proof!)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Carmen says:

    My giggle for the day. .. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s